Ep. 34 – Is Divorce Day real?

Tim Whitney: Today we're going back to our myth busting roots, and are taking on one of the biggest myths in the media - Divorce Day. For those of you who don't know, Divorce Day is supposedly the first Monday after the Christmas and New Year break, which this year would be Monday, the 5th of January. The suggestion is that there is a surge of enquiries following a strain of relations over the Christmas period.

Jen Curtis: You are absolutely right to summarize it in that way, Tim, and I think it's this, either the idea that there's been a strain in relations over the Christmas period, or that perhaps people have had a wish to get divorced for a while, but have perhaps held it together for one last Christmas together as a family before them perhaps wanting to start afresh in the new year.

I also think that there's a point from the media generally about wanting to find interesting things to talk about when it comes to divorce. And I was looking back over some of the BBC headlines over recent years and in January 2019, they picked up, up on the fact that December 2018, January 2019, was the first time which people had been able to complete their divorce application online. And again, because it makes a nice headline, apparently 13 people completed online applications for a divorce on Christmas day. So the fact that the press are writing about it probably suggests that people are interested in this part of human nature.

But I do wonder whether that actually accords with the lawyer's experience. So that's what we're here to talk about today.

Tim Whitney: And you often hear or read of quotes saying that family lawyers believe, or family lawyers think that that day sees a spike in enquiries. So what we thought we'd start by doing is just looking at our own data and whether over the past three years there is a noticeable pattern or spike in enquiries.

 So we've looked at 2023, 2024, and 2025, and the headline is that January isn't the busiest month, and in fact, there is no consistent month that comes out on top.

Jen Curtis: Absolutely. And we're not statisticians, but we can certainly hypothesize on some of the figures.

There were a couple of years where there was a real boost in the figures in July, possibly people wanting to get things sorted before the school summer holidays. September, again, featured in the top three months for a couple of years, and certainly anecdotally I've had clients who've come in during sort of September, October time saying to me, I've been thinking about this for a while, but I wasn't able to arrange an appointment because I was looking after the children while they were off school.

Tim Whitney: I think you're right Jen, about that point around reflection and understanding the magnitude of this decision. And I think one of the frustrations about the headline is that it makes it seem as though it's a reactionary or impulsive decision. This idea that people have had a difficult week or difficult couple of weeks, so therefore they're going to get divorced.

I think that undermines and isn't a fair reflection about the amount of thought that people put into this. Before we move off the stats, we did ask Copilot to do some analysis and what Copilot said was that actually January wasn't the busiest month that there was a spring and summer peak, which was shown by how busy March and May and July could be. But it also made the point that decisions, big decisions are made by clients all year round, not just the couple of days following Christmas. And I think that's an important point.

Jen Curtis: And I do think that those statistics do actually reflect our day-to-day experience. I don't think we can necessarily predict if or when there may be a busy period because it is so driven by each individual making the decision that's right for them at that particular time. And actually reflecting back on

some of the recent podcast episodes that we've released with the divorce coaches and with the counsellor. Those have all really highlighted just how much thought and preparation can go into even deciding whether you want to get divorced or if you've decided that you do think the marriage has come to an end, actually, how and when you bring that point up with your spouse and at what point you are having that conversation between yourselves and when does that then turn into a conversation which is potentially involving lawyers?

Tim Whitney: I agree. And there are a number of couples that will have gone to marriage counselling and will have sought advice from family and friends before coming see a lawyer. So often, we're not the first person that someone speaks to about this. It tends to be that they'll have spoken to a trusted person within their network and also hopefully they'll have spoken to each other such that they'll have explored you know, these options they have rather than having a stressful Christmas and then getting in touch with the lawyer a couple of days later.

Jen Curtis: And I think there's. An implication that's perhaps a bit more insidious in the headlines is that these people who are going to lawyers for advice on Divorce Day are starting some sort of. Fight and actually I wonder even if there were a peak to some extent in enquiries in January, how many of those who are people who are going to a solicitor and saying, this is really acrimonious.

I want you to fight for me. We've got a battle on our hands. And how many are actually people who are saying, does your firm offer mediation? Could we come in and meet with you? You know, there'll be couples out there who are coming to us saying, well, can we use the separate well process? And they actually both want to instruct us as their lawyer.

And I think that is certainly a gap that's missing between the headlines and the real world of it all is that it's not, I suppose a combative process that actually people come to lawyers for a whole host of reasons. Being informed is really important. Knowing where you stand is important.

But it's not this, there always feels like there's a level of vitriol around the decision to get divorced.

I do wonder whether the divorce day headline is something that will perhaps fade with time in as much as. A few years ago, you would've perhaps expected most law firms to close in between Christmas and New Year.

So perhaps there was a sense of enquiries from the last couple of weeks of December automatically spilling into January because there were no law firms available to be contacted on Divorce Day. But I think with, you know, the different ways in which people are offering legal services expectations, from clients.

It isn't necessarily the case that you won't be able to get a hold of someone, until the 5th of January or whichever day divorce they falls on. And that people are, accessing legal advice, whether that's directly from a solicitor or reading around the subject, listening to reliable podcasts like this one that again also play into the mix of why January isn't the peak that it's portrayed as in the media.

Tim Whitney: Yeah, I agree. I think ultimately, it's about headlines rather than reality. And as you say the vast majority of people are far more considered will be coming to, to get some information about what shall I do, what happens next?

What are the different processes? Who do I need in my team? And also it makes me think of the podcast we've done recently about international couples and the importance of getting all those people in their team and the importance of early advice and potentially taking advice in different jurisdictions.

So there's lots of different topics that I suppose we've covered on previous episodes that play into the preparation of divorce. But I think the main thing is that it's highly unlikely to be the first Monday of any New Year. And actually it could be any day in the year because there are always stressful things happening in people's lives.

There are always triggers to these decisions, and they very rarely just happen because you've had a bad Christmas.

Jen Curtis: Well, I think you've really summarized everything that we've been trying to convey, in the podcast, in those last few comments, Tim. So thank you.

And as we move into a new year with a whole host of podcast opportunities ahead of us, we'd love to invite you to suggest topics, ask questions, things that you'd like to hear from us. So do comment in the usual way on the episodes or on any of our social media channels.